The mentorship concept is to have a relationship with someone who can build a cordial connection between him and another individual as he takes such a person through his career or life journey. Whoever is going to be called a mentor must be someone who will be flexible enough to connect emotionally with whomever he is mentoring. And in the making of a great mentor, emotional intelligence is the fundamental prerequisite in creating a charismatic, relatable, and visionary leader.
In lieu of this, emotional intelligence is explained to be the ability of a leader to determine, evaluate, and monitor their emotions and the emotions of others while using them to develop closer relationships with mentee, followers, and colleagues. A mentor needs to have the ability to understand, read, interpret and respond appropriately to the emotions of their mentee, which is what emotional intelligence is all about.
To make it clear, let's take, for instance, a practical example:
Adeola is an 18 year which has always been dreaming of becoming a renowned journalist. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, and she understands the concept of mentorship, so she decided to get a mentor in the field who would put her through. After a stressful searching, finally, she met Folarin Sodimu. Folarin is an award-winning investigative journalist who is well-grounded in the field and has worked in almost all the media houses in Nigeria. Folarin is a leader where he works, and he has mentored several people who have also taken the mantle of leadership in journalism and other career paths.
The merging of Adeola and Folarin is an interesting one. Folarin loved Adeola for her smartness, intelligence, and creativity. He was overwhelmed by her sagacious attitude towards her career and how she is doing very fine despite being a secondary school graduate. The relationship was getting more interesting when Adeola began to win prizes and awards on essay writing, feature stories, and more.
Six months later, Adeola gained admission into the University of Ilorin. It was a joyous occasion for both the mentor and mentee. They celebrated, had fun, and as well talked about how her journey through school would be. Adeola started school. The school wasn't going easy on Adeola. She was struggling to study and, at the same time, focus on her personal development. She was lagging in her training with Folarin but trying so hard to meet up with schools works.
Folarin didn't take a liking to Adeola's sudden decline in energy towards her career. He never knew what Adeola was going through in school, so he encouraged her with words enough to make one cry. He would call Adeola and lash at her on how she rejects and neglects the opportunities he brings to the table for her. He told her that school has changed, and all she is doing now is enjoying school and forgetting her career. He lashed her, insulted her, compared her with other mentees he has had and how well they are doing despite being in school.
The insults went all day by day, not until the day he called Adeola, and she didn't pick, which was unusual. Folarin, at first, didn't find that situation awkward. He thought she was ignoring him because of the insult he threw at her. After a week of not answering, Folarin decided to check her in school, and that was when he found out that Adeola has committed suicide after failing her first-semester exam.
Folarin fell to the ground when he saw the suicide letter Adeola wrote, saying," I failed in school, and I failed in my career. I can't even get one thing right without blemishes. Not with school, not even with Folarin. What is my usefulness exactly?', she wrote.
The need for a mentor to develop emotional intelligence is crucial because being emotionally intelligent is crucial to the success of any mentor-mentee relationship. And Folarin failed as a mentor because he lacks emotional intelligence, which is one of the significant reasons Adeola couldn't talk to him about her problem before taking the big step And in developing emotional intelligence, these areas must be looked into; self-awareness, social skills, empathy, self-regulation, and motivation. For a smooth and successful mentorship relationship;
a mentor must define how he feels and think of how his feeling will affect others.
He must be able to stay in control and not judge his mentees.
A mentor must observe the reactions of his mentor and know when to motivate and cheer them up.
Mentors and leaders have to improve their social skills like communication skills, conflict resolution, and more. Having empathy is most significant in a relationship between a mentor and mentee because they will understand people's situations and know how to help them.
A mentor needs to inculcate and develop emotional intelligence to foster a good relationship between him and his mentee. The more relatable and better a mentor is with his emotions, the more successful his followers and mentee will be.
Written by GIANT