Oladipupo Aminat
PenMadame.
Episode 5
(Unbound……..)
*****************
I was posted to Kogi State Secretariat for my Youth Service.
It was my second month in Kogi when I met him again.
I met Bolu.
He saw me first and ran towards me, his face lighting up with surprise.
He told me I had changed a lot.
That I was more beautiful and that I looked better.
He said he was interested in me again.
Do not be surprised; abusers never leave their prey easily…….
•I politely declined.
Almost every day after that, he kept coming to the Secretariat just to see me.
I finally spoke up and told him I would appreciate it if he stopped coming.
That was when he said,
“Unblock me at least, so I can text you once in a while.”
When he realized he could no longer manipulate me, he flared up.
“What exactly is special about you?” he snapped.
“I only came so we could continue from where we stopped, but you think you’re the only woman on earth. There’s actually nothing special about you at all. Aren’t you the filthy daughter of the single mother I jilted.”
It was that moment I knew I did absolutely well.
•He wanted a reaction.
•He wanted a way back into my head.
•I denied him both.
*******************
He tried to beg a few more times after that, but I never gave him my attention again.
Much later, I saw on social media that he had gotten married, about two years before he came to me.
Funny, isn’t it?
I am not sure why I wasn’t surprised when I came across the reel on Instagram.
However, curiosity led me into deep reflection.
I asked myself why I had stayed in that relationship for so long despite everything.
Then the truth hit me:
•I lacked self-love.
•I had no confidence in myself.
•I had never felt whole all my life.
There was a void inside me, and I thought only he could fill it.
That day, I understood what manipulators look for.
•people who are not grounded in themselves.
•people who crave validation from others.
•people who are too vulnerable.
•people who lack boundaries.
After I made the necessary adjustments and realized that everything truly starts with me, I began to attract better.
I finally understood that I had settled in the past because of childhood trauma.
I believed, wrongly, that I did not deserve better.
Now, I watch out for manipulation patterns such love-bombing, future-faking, and using people’s weaknesses to control them even in casual relationships.
I realized that before anything else, I needed to grow first. Or else I was going to keep attracting the same set of men.
I began to grow more;
•emotionally
•mentally
•and financially.
Two years after my service year, I got married. And he is one of the best gift i have ever had.
Today, I am thriving in the tech world, and I coach students who are willing to learn.
My story is proof that no matter where you come from, you can still become who you want to be.
Coming from a broken home does not mean you should settle for less or believe you do not deserve better.
And as I write this, I am currently pursuing my Master’s degree, with a PhD still in my plans.
******************
To every soul whose story mirrors mine.
Please, do not read this as mere fiction.
Read it as a motivation to live better.
•Even if the whole world turns its back on you.
•Even if your past is heavier than your dreams.
•Even if you have been told to your face that you will amount to nothing.
•Even if you are still trembling as you step out of your shell; afraid, unsure, and wounded.
Let my story whisper to you that rising is still possible.
There are nights my past still finds me in quiet moments,
but my affirmations hold me when the memories try to break me.
I remind myself, again and again, that I am no longer who I was.
And slowly, the guilt loses its grip.
If healing found me,
I pray it finds you too.
I, Zainab Ismail, tell my soul boldly that no shackles shall hold me down, even if I am the DAUGHTER………OF A SINGLE MOTHER.
The End.
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